A few weeks ago, Sean FINALLY released his mixtape (listen to it, if you haven’t yet). Jesus man, it only took you ten years. But, we’re super stoked for him. In the course of the last few days, we got to thinking “what if the rest of us had released mixtapes”? Well, thanks to Sean’s decent photoshop skills, my passable writing ability, and of course…the INTERNET, we’re able to see what that could have looked like…
Ah Eddie Avak. Known throughout Modesto as “the Assyrian Michael Jordan…of soccer.” He only raps when he’s drunk and the results are surprisingly good.
Like an extravagant Persian rug, Gold and Guns is a decadent and glimmering debut from Eddie Avak.
1. What’s Up Motherfucker
2. Michael Jordan
3. Fat Stacks, Bro
4. You Want To Buy Gold, Bro?
5. Spike N Rose (My Dogs)
6. ’93 Accord (f. DSK)
7. Johnnie Walker, Black
8. Assyrian Assassin
9. ‘murica (f. Stumpy Jones)
10. Badass UTD. (f. Eric Ruiz)
Tyler “Stumpy” Jones was the glue that held dsk together. I mean, all the dumb shit we did was at Tyler’s house on 2005 Bridgewood Ave.
This is the perfect album for the gym or for a bar fight. Either way Tyler’s angry rhymes and Sean’s hard-hitting production are enough to get nuns and librarians turnt up.
1. Intro (Naked in The Hallway)
2. Blunts, Bitches and Bud Light
3. Street Fightz (TM diss)
4. ‘MURICA pt. 2 (f. Eddie Avak, Brunner and Sean Donahue)
5. Jungle Juice
6. BRIDGEWOOD (f. Sean Donahue, Eric Ruiz, Eddie Avak, Kevin “Kev” Short, Borgeezy, Brunner, Jarod Engle, Kole Sousa and every other motherfucker who came over to my fucking house. Except for you, Lee)
7. Garage Party
8. ’05 ’til Infinity
9. Grizzly Mint (Dipping With My Dawgz)
10. Comfy Bricks (Pulling Weight)
We’re still not sure how the soft spoken Eric Ruiz wound up being friends with a bunch of assholes. But it works. And it works well.
Ruiz recounts his world travels and lessons learned over slowed down production from Donahue. Drake credits “Barcelona Princess” with helping him get back with his ex.
1. Camp Nou (Intro)
2. Table for One (f. Drake)
3. Barcelona Princess
4. Getting Lost…
5. …To Find Myself
6. Lonely November
7. The Girl With The Freckles
8. Bilingual Dreams
9. Grad School Dropout
10. Raining in Rome
So there you have it, the “What If…”2015 Mixtape Series. Fortunately for you all, we know our strengths. So until further notice, Sean Donahue will be the only in house rapper/ producer. Because he’s good at it. The rest of us will sort of float around and support the homie as best we can.
Hugs and High Fives